Bowling is Not a Rodent Sport
February 10th, 2025 by The Rat
Okay, so maybe bowling isn’t my sport.
But hey, I was feeling so much better, and I was so tired of lying in bed all day when I was sick, that I just wanted to get out and DO something, you know? It’s winter now and no one is playing pawball, but I thought maybe I could try an indoor sport. Like, say, bowling! I mean, why not? What do I have to lose?
Only my dignity. Only my pride. Only my image of myself as a rat with muscles.
And I got a brand new bowling shirt, too. Sometimes life just isn’t fair, you know? How was I supposed to know the ball weighed about a ratzillion pounds?
Have you ever tried to push a ratzillion pounds down a wooden lane that’s 120 times as long as you are? No? You should try it some time. Seriously. It will give you a new appreciation for the phrase “maximum effort, minimum gain.”
So, any ideas for what I should try next? Hmmm? (I’m thinking of taking up something that doesn’t involve sweating.)
- 14 Comments »
- Posted in Raston's Blog
February 10th, 2025 at 4:23 pm
Dear Ratty,
You should try singing or making a book. It’s very fun for us!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:24 pm
Hey, Emer and Zoe, what a ratastic idea, because I LOVE to sing! (And maybe I could make a BOOK of my songs? That sounds like fun, too.)
In fact, I just made up the first song for the book. Would you like to hear it? It’s to the tune of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat”.
Roll, roll, roll your ball, gently down the lane…
When you roll it on your foot, you will get a pain!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:25 pm
Hi Ratty. We have two questions for you: One, do you have any American dollars? Two, What type of shoes do you wear or like? Oh and one more thing. We think you should try soccer!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:26 pm
Hi Max and Logan! Here are your answers:
One. I don’t have any of the BIG American dollars (they’re TOO big; the size of blankets!) But we do use rat dollars now and then, in Rodent City. They’re smaller than American Dollars and they have a picture of Theodore Ratsavelt on them.
Two. I wear flipflops (on the beach), ski boots (for skiing), sneakers for running around and doing sports (I wear size .07, AAAAAAAAA–that’s small, long, and narrow), and for climbing I use my bare feet with their pointy claws!
And sure, I COULD play soccer, but why would I, when pawball is just like it, only for rodents my size? Some of the rules are a little different from soccer, though. Like, “No clawing”, “No biting”, and “No pulling whiskers or tails”.
February 10th, 2025 at 4:27 pm
Ratty,
You could try mini golf!. It is fun and doesn’t involve sweating. You can go outside and get a club. Then play mini golf.
February 10th, 2025 at 4:28 pm
Cohen and Michaela, thanks for writing! Yep, I’ve thought about mini golf. Even tried it once but the clubs were waaaay too big, and once when I curled up someone thought I was a ball and accidentally hit me into the pond by the windmill. Slimy. Not to mention wet. I sneezed seventeen times after that little adventure!
But getting my own club sounds like something that could work. Maybe I could use one of those wooden matches? No–I’m not supposed to play with matches. Okay, what if I found the right sized twig? And used a little tiny round pebble for a ball? I could make my own course! (And I could practice secretly until I was better than any of the other rodents!)
I like your idea, and I especially like the idea of not sweating. Thanks a lot!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:29 pm
Dear Ratty,
We might know what you should do for winter! Sorry I said that a bit loud…anyways…Maybe do basketball, hockey, mini golf, and running. When you run outside you stay warm with a coat on you.
February 10th, 2025 at 4:30 pm
Hello, Meera and Isla, nice to hear from you! Thank you for all your ratariffic ideas. I think a basketball is a little big for me (like, five times bigger than my whole ratty body), but we rodents do play something similar, called ratsketball, which is fun. And I can play mini golf with a twig for a club, and for sure I can run outside! The great thing is, I already have a coat on–it’s a FUR coat, made of my own fur, see? So I am always nice and warm. But I am not sure about playing hockey. Do you think someone might think I was the puck? And slap me with their big stick? I sure hope not!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:31 pm
Hi Ratty,
We think you should play board games. We like chess. You could also have races with your friends.
February 10th, 2025 at 4:32 pm
Hiya, Anthony and Kayson! Board games is a great idea. I once played Living Chess (I was one of the knights, the mice were pawns, and Emmy was Queen–when she was shrunk, you know.) Sometimes I play Ratopoly (that’s when you roll the dice and get properties, like Ratwalk and Rat Place, or Rodent Avenue), but I think it’s also fun to play Ratty Land (that one has a lot of candy on the board) and Squeek! (That one has a big rubber ball in the middle, and if you knock the other player’s guy off the board, you get to squeeze it and it squeeks like a scared mouse!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:33 pm
Hi Ratty,
I think you should try golf! Try to get the perfect club for you. You could also try indoor tennis or maybe indoor four-square.
February 10th, 2025 at 4:34 pm
Hi Lorreign and Dazelle! Thanks for the ratly good ideas. I have been thinking about golf, you know. There is a big grassy field next to the school… I could practice my swing there, and I’m pretty sure Emmy could get me some frozen peas from her kitchen to use for golf balls. (Okay, they might be green, and a little cold, but I think they’d be the right size.) The club is the problem, though. It’s hard to find a twig with just the right bend at the end (I know, I’ve tried!) Maybe… a broken pencil? With an eraser stuck on sideways for the club? Or maybe a Q-tip?
February 10th, 2025 at 4:40 pm
Hi Ratty,
We know that bowling is hard…really hard! We play sports a lot. But don’t worry, we have a lot of sports that you can try. Running, chess, yoga, football, pickleball, foursquare, soccer, baseball, basketball, dodgeball, and kickball. DO NOT use a pickle for pickleball. We know it sounds like you do okay but DON’T!
February 10th, 2025 at 4:41 pm
Awwww, Ansel and Noah, really? People play pickleball WITHOUT A PICKLE??? (Oh, sorry, was I yelling? It’s just… these crazy humans! They don’t make any sense at all!) And here I was, looking forward to throwing a pickle around. I even found the right size for me (a baby dill). And the great thing about playing pickleball with a real pickle would be, if you get hungry, there’s lunch, right in your hand!
Also, how about that human game they call Pickle in the Middle? I suppose you’re going to tell me that there’s no pickle in THAT game, either!!
Oh well… I guess I can always make up a pickle-related game of my own. Like, say, Squish the Pickle. (I bet you can guess the object of that game.) Or Pickle Wars. (Get a stash of pickles and throw them at each other.) Or Pickle, Pickle, Who’s Got the PIckle? (That’s where you hide a pickle and then go away and forget about it, and seventeen days later you play again and see if you can find the pickle by the smell.) Wouldn’t you love to play that one with me?